Joke Quotes - BrainyQuote

The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it's a disaster is a very, very fine line. You see a chap slip on a banana skin in the street and you roar with laughter when he falls slap on his backside. If in doing so you suddenly see he's broken a leg, you very quickly stop laughing and it's not a joke anymore. Roald Dahl

Laughter, Broken, Doing, You, Skin, See

Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing. Carol Burnett

Funny, Humor, People, Think, Know, Teach

I need your help. I am injured, near death, and too weak to hike out of here. I am all alone. This is no joke. In the name of God, please remain to save me. I am out collecting berries close by and shall return this evening. Thank you, Chris McCandless. Christopher McCandless

Death, God, Alone, I Am, Thank You, Help

Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke. John Krasinski

Funny, Smile, Good, Time, Down, I Can

My life motto is basically to lower your standards and expectations so you're never disappointed and never put any trust in anything, and I try to prepare for the day that I wake up, and everyone I know is like, 'LOL JK best long-running practical joke ever', so I've never really let myself freak out or get too excited about anything. Tavi Gevinson

Life, Best, Motto, Trust, Myself, Day

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers

People, Seriously, Politicians, Changing

I always joke about letting the haters motivate you. Everybody has that in their life, people who doubt them or make them feel less than they are. It just takes faith and belief in yourself, and you've got to dig deep into that. That has to come from you - nobody's going to give you that. Jennifer Lopez

Life, Faith, Yourself, People, Deep, You

Pretension is a poor joke that you play on yourself. Snap out of it. Recognise your strengths, work on your weaknesses. Real achievement is liking what you see in the mirror every morning. Virat Kohli

Work, Morning, Mirror, Achievement, Play

The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow. H. G. Wells

Today, Tomorrow, Crisis

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world. - Muhammad Ali

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world. Muhammad Ali

Truth, World, Way, Tell, Joking

The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind. H. P. Lovecraft

World, Mankind, Comic, Indeed

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. Robert Frost

Forgiveness, Great, Me, Forgive, Big

I was chubby in high school. I used to go to my information technology class, and I would type really fast to get the lesson done quick because the teacher had a little acoustic guitar, and there was a girl I had a crush on in the class. I would take the guitar and pretend to be some great singer-songwriter, serenade her with joke songs. Tobias Jesso, Jr.

Teacher, Technology, Great, School, Girl

But for me to have the opportunity to stand in front of a bunch of executives and present myself, I had to hustle in my own way. I can't tell you how frustrating it was that they didn't get that. No joke - I'd leave meetings crying all the time. Kanye West

Time, Myself, Opportunity, Me, Meetings

In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society. Sam Kinison

Community, God, Space, Society, Comedy

I love people who have a good sense of humor, tell a good story, tell a good joke. Jason Statham

Love, Good, Humor, People, Story, Tell

The 'good' mother, with her fixed smile, her rigidity, her goody-goody outlook, her obsession with unnecessary hygiene, is in fact a fool. It is the 'bad' mother, unafraid of a joke and a glass of wine, richly self-expressive, scornful of suburban values, who is, in reality, good. Rachel Cusk

Smile, Good, Mother, Fool, Wine, Reality

I'm grateful for every stupid mistake and dumb joke I tried to make. Bo Burnham

Grateful, Mistake, Stupid, Dumb, Tried

Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome. T. S. Eliot

Time, People, Television, Listen, Same

A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.' Jon Stewart

You, Know, Expression, Insult, Injury

The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction. Robin Williams

Famous, People, Me, Evil, Sometimes, Say

I detest jokes - when somebody tells me one, I feel my IQ dropping; the brain cells start to disappear. But something is funny when the person delivering the line doesn't know it's funny or doesn't treat it as a joke. Maybe it comes from a place of truth, or it's a sort of rage against society. Johnny Depp

Funny, Truth, Brain, Me, Treat, Start

Housekeeping ain't no joke. Louisa May Alcott

In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic. Lea Thompson

Sadness, Deepest, Sarcastic, Always

I realized that I get pleasure when I'm told, 'Don't listen to the haters; they're losers in their moms' basements.' I imagine these 'losers' and feel better about myself. Their insults hurt less if I label them 'pathetic.' I diminish their value in order to protect mine. I noticed that I'm quick to make a joke at someone else's expense. Julie Plec

Myself, Value, Better, Hurt, Haters

Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy. Jim Gaffigan

Change, Good, Creative, Me, Process

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