Joke Quotes - BrainyQuote

Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing. Carol Burnett

Funny, Humor, People, Sense Of Humor

I need your help. I am injured, near death, and too weak to hike out of here. I am all alone. This is no joke. In the name of God, please remain to save me. I am out collecting berries close by and shall return this evening. Thank you, Chris McCandless. Christopher McCandless

God, Alone, Death, I Am, Me, Thank You

In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic. Lea Thompson

Sadness, Always, Sarcastic, Deepest

I'm grateful for every stupid mistake and dumb joke I tried to make. Bo Burnham

Grateful, Mistake, Stupid, Dumb, Tried

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers

People, Seriously, Everything, Changing

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? - Steven Wright

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? Steven Wright

Forest, Nobody, You, Tell, Laughs

Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke. John Krasinski

Funny, Smile, Good, Time, Down, I Can

The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind. H. P. Lovecraft

World, Mankind, Comic, Indeed

It's just not funny to disrespect other people's beliefs, backgrounds, cultures, or identities when those are deeply rooted in longstanding oppression. Jokes that punch down on marginalized people require no creativity because they've existed since the beginning of time. It's like telling a knock-knock joke and believing you're Richard Pryor. Franchesca Ramsey

Funny, Time, People, Creativity, Down

When I was growing up, my mother was always a friend to my siblings and me (in addition to being all the other things a mom is), and I was always grateful for that because I knew she was someone I could talk to and joke with, and argue with and that nothing would ever harm that friendship. Marlo Thomas

Friendship, Mother, Friend, Grateful, Me

To show that a comedian on stage in India talking about sanitation or in South Africa talking about HIV and AIDS awareness, if you follow the joke into their lives, you can see that, like, oh, these things aren't just contrived in joke books. This is real life. I think the best comedians have that bravery and courage to say, Oh, this is what it is. Hasan Minhaj

Life, Courage, Best, Think, You, India

I used to have this joke: 'Every hallway is a runway.' Tyra Banks

Runway, Used, Hallway, Every

Pretension is a poor joke that you play on yourself. Snap out of it. Recognise your strengths, work on your weaknesses. Real achievement is liking what you see in the mirror every morning. Virat Kohli

Work, Morning, Mirror, Achievement, You

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world. - Muhammad Ali

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world. Muhammad Ali

Truth, World, Way, Tell, Joking

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. Robert Frost

Forgiveness, Great, Me, Forgive, Little

I always joke about letting the haters motivate you. Everybody has that in their life, people who doubt them or make them feel less than they are. It just takes faith and belief in yourself, and you've got to dig deep into that. That has to come from you - nobody's going to give you that. Jennifer Lopez

Life, Faith, Yourself, People, Deep, You

It was that famous joke: What's the last thing the drummer said before he got kicked out of the band? 'Hey, I wrote a song.' Dave Grohl

Famous, Song, Drummer, Said, Band, Last

My life motto is basically to lower your standards and expectations so you're never disappointed and never put any trust in anything, and I try to prepare for the day that I wake up, and everyone I know is like, 'LOL JK best long-running practical joke ever', so I've never really let myself freak out or get too excited about anything. Tavi Gevinson

Life, Best, Trust, Myself, Motto, Day

The gods too are fond of a joke. Aristotle

Gods, Too, Fond

It's important to remember that life is a joke, and that outlook grants a lot of perspective, but I don't think comedy should change and become political due to other things. It should just laugh at that cosmic joke that life is all the time. John Mulaney

Life, Change, Time, Perspective, Laugh

I think female solitude is a mental condition as well as a physical state. You can be married and a spinster. I think spinster is an identity every woman can claim, if she will... I feel like a lot of women, or a lot of feminists, joke about taking to the sea or living alone in a cottage as this kind of fun freedom. Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Women, Freedom, Alone, Sea, Woman, Fun

The why is what makes journalism an adult game. The why is what makes policy coherent and useful. The why is what transforms bureaucrats and foot soldiers and political leaders into viable instruments of rational and affirmative change. The why is everything and without it, the very suggestion of human progress becomes a cosmic joke. David Simon

Change, Progress, Game, Journalism, Why

Being a parent is not for the faint of heart. I may joke about knowing fear, but the fact is, the first time I ever knew real fear was the day Charlotte, my first child, was born. Suddenly there is someone in the world you care about more than anything. Harlan Coben

Fear, Time, Heart, Day, Child, World

The Giants beating the undefeated Patriots, that's all a joke. The star of a reality show is going to run the country. The guy who decided if Bret Michaels or Cyndi Lauper would make a better CEO for a company that doesn't exist is going to be running stuff. Bill Burr

Better, Reality, Run, Star, Country

The joke may be that no one likes fruitcake, but if that were the case, they wouldn't appear on store shelves every holiday season! Harley Pasternak

Holiday, Holiday Season, Season, May

I was chubby in high school. I used to go to my information technology class, and I would type really fast to get the lesson done quick because the teacher had a little acoustic guitar, and there was a girl I had a crush on in the class. I would take the guitar and pretend to be some great singer-songwriter, serenade her with joke songs. Tobias Jesso, Jr.

Technology, Teacher, Great, Girl, School

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