Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
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