Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
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