Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Share the Top 10 Funny quotes!