Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Share this top 10 list!