It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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