Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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