There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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