No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
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