Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
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