The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
When you become senile, you won't know it.
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Share this top 10 list!