W. C. Fields Quotes

American - Comedian January 29, 1880 - December 25, 1946

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. - W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Smile, Day, Humor, Start, Every Day, Get

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. - W. C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

Man, Money, Rich, Poor, Poor Man

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Water, Food, Live, Nothing, Prohibition

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - W. C. Fields

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

People, Horse, Sense, Betting, Thing

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

Life, Woman, You, Rest, She, Impress

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. - W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Funny, Food, Wine, Sometimes, Cook, Even

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. - W. C. Fields

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

Think, Sunday, Year, Philadelphia, Once

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

Pet, Down, Clever, Cheese, Cat, Rat

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - W. C. Fields

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

Woman, Me, Drink, Her, Decency, Even

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

Snake, Always, See, I See, Keep, Case

Top 10
W. C. Fields
Quotes

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

Live, Fish, Dead, Remember, Swim, Float

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

Water, Trust, You, Straight, Stick, Even

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

Woman, Me, Drink, Courtesy, Never, Her

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull. - W. C. Fields

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

You, Them, Bull, Brilliance

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

Man, Turn, Popcorn, Over, Pancakes, His

I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.

Die, Paris, Will, See, Like, Before

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

Feet, House, Nothing, Like, Little, Ah

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

Woman, Night, You, Survive, She, Cold

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. - W. C. Fields

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Hate, I Am, Equality, Free, Everyone, Am

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

Home, Drink, Worry, Never, New Year's

I must have a drink of breakfast.

Breakfast, Drink, Must

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - W. C. Fields

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

Small, Snake, Always, Carry, Whiskey

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. - W. C. Fields

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

You, Answer, Call

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

Success, Fool, You, Succeed, Quit, Damn

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Cry, Never, Milk, May, Over, Because

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. - W. C. Fields

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

Money, Wrong, Allow, Keep, Sucker, His

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