Ron White Quotes - BrainyQuote

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White

Life, Funny, Believe, You, Party, Find

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability. - Ron White

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability. Ron White

Silent, Right, Ability, Had, Remain

You can't fix stupid. - Ron White

You can't fix stupid. Ron White

Stupid, You, Fix

Donald Trump - and I don't dislike Donald one single bit - has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels. Ron White

Good, People, Building, Dislike, Mexican

I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em. Ron White

Great, Smoke, Going, Last, Because, Got

The next time you have a thought... let it go. - Ron White

The next time you have a thought... let it go. Ron White

Funny, Time, Thought, You, Go, Next

The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper. Ron White

Learning, School, Brain, Smart, You

When I was a kid, mostly I played in a ditch that didn't have much water in it. It was for drainage purposes. There was not a lot trouble to get into in that ditch. It was ditch activities like catching crawdads and minnows. Ron White

Water, Trouble, Kid, Like, Much, Ditch

I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part. Ron White

Good, Small, Bad, Big, Than, Rather

My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy. Ron White

Pet, Guy, Comedians, Guess, Cable, Other

Top 10
Ron White
Quotes

When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable - onstage, talking, making 'em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention. Ron White

Laugh, Attention, Listen, Talking, Go

There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever. Ron White

Stupid, You, Class, Forever, Go, Take

Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute! Ron White

Diamonds, Her, Up, Minute, Shut

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic. Ron White

Work, People, Saying, True, Drink, Only

If I'm not in the theatre, I'm in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff. Ron White

Night, Theatre, Doing, Comedy, Trying

As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny. Ron White

Funny, Child, Story, Small, Watch, Tell

I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship. Ron White

Positive, Relationship, Communication

My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers. Ron White

Red, Hot, Chili, Favorite, Brothers

A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That's just like heaven to me. I'm a simple man. Ron White

Man, Simple, Restaurant, Me, Heaven

My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan - thin, slow, and it leaks. Ron White

Brain, Slow, Lazy, Like, Cross, Thin

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane. Ron White

Death, Death Penalty, Trying, Lane, Mine

There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between. Ron White

Walk, People, Bridge, Bridges, Build

I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product! Ron White

Love, You, Product, Chili, Spaghetti

I don't have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I'm going to keep talking. I can't imagine a life without doing standup. Ron White

Life, People, Me, Long, Doing, Plan

The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith's 'What It Was, Was Football.' I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn't know what any of it meant. Ron White

Funny, Football, Laugh, Hands, Know, Got

I could do no wrong in my mother's eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life. Ron White

Life, Mother, Great, Day, Eyes, Nice

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