Mark Twain Quotes - BrainyQuote

American - Writer November 30, 1835 - April 21, 1910

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. Mark Twain

Brainy Fool Better

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. Mark Twain

Motivational Ahead Secret

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. Mark Twain

Life Success Confidence

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Mark Twain

Truth Remember Anything

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. Mark Twain

Life Good Conscience

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. Mark Twain

Business Time Yourself

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first. Mark Twain

Best Morning Frog

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. Mark Twain

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. Mark Twain

Education Person Who

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain

Funny Facts Your

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. Mark Twain

Best Yourself Way

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. Mark Twain

Life World Nothing

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded. Mark Twain

People Group Two

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. Mark Twain

Anger Anything More

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Mark Twain

Age Mind Matter

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain

Funny Hell Heaven

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself. Mark Twain

Politics Myself Idiot

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. Mark Twain

Life Death Time

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. Mark Twain

Time Patriotism Government

Don't let schooling interfere with your education. Mark Twain

Education Your Interfere

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Mark Twain

Rest Do The Right Thing People

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. Mark Twain

Courage Fear Mastery

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. Mark Twain

Buy land, they're not making it anymore. Mark Twain

Land Buy Making

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. Mark Twain

Experience Man Way

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. - Mark Twain

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. Mark Twain

Education God Practice

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. Mark Twain

Forgiveness Fragrance Violet

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Mark Twain

Funny Death Reports

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. Mark Twain

Love Heart Fish

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twain

Laughter Race Human

Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. Mark Twain

I can live for two months on a good compliment. Mark Twain

Good Live I Can

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain

Health Diet Way

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. Mark Twain

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't. Mark Twain

Truth Stranger Possibilities

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain

Health Die Careful

There are lies, damned lies and statistics. Mark Twain

Statistics Lies

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get. Mark Twain

Weather Climate Get

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain

Power Society Man

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. Mark Twain

Tomorrow Day Never

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. Mark Twain

River Egypt Denial

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel. Mark Twain

Fight People Never

All generalizations are false, including this one. Mark Twain

Funny False Generalizations

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. Mark Twain

Me Bible Understand

We have the best government that money can buy. Mark Twain

Best Money Government

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. - Mark Twain

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. Mark Twain

Today Nothing Cannot

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. Mark Twain

Humor Blessing Greatest

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. Mark Twain

Age Wrinkles Where

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Mark Twain

Good Communication Me

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. Mark Twain

Good Things Good Example

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. Mark Twain

Communication Character Man

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. Mark Twain

Pause Right May

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. Mark Twain

Education Nothing College

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. Mark Twain

Way Things Cannot

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. Mark Twain

Imagination Eyes Focus

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. - Mark Twain

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. Mark Twain

Death Fear Most

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. Mark Twain

Golf is a good walk spoiled. Mark Twain

Good Sports Walk

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. Mark Twain

Truth Stranger Wonder

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work. Mark Twain

Work Good Lightning

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