Josh Billings Quotes - BrainyQuote

American - Comedian April 21, 1818 - October 14, 1885

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. Josh Billings

Love Pet Yourself

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. - Josh Billings

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. Josh Billings

Until Like Stamp

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. - Josh Billings

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. Josh Billings

Anger Silence Hardest

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins. - Josh Billings

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins. Josh Billings

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. - Josh Billings

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. Josh Billings

Life Good Cards

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. - Josh Billings

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Josh Billings

Forgiveness Revenge Complete

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way. Josh Billings

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. - Josh Billings

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. Josh Billings

Love Envy Through

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it. - Josh Billings

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it. Josh Billings

Health Fitness Time

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. - Josh Billings

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. Josh Billings

Top 10
Josh Billings
Quotes

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. - Josh Billings

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. Josh Billings

Funny Imagination Mistake

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't. - Josh Billings

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't. Josh Billings

Change Two Opinions

The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so. Josh Billings

People Trouble Know

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. - Josh Billings

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. Josh Billings

Wisdom Wheel Loudest

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. Josh Billings

Funny Water Flattery

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. Josh Billings

Beat Someone Politeness

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time. Josh Billings

Happiness Time Woman

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. - Josh Billings

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. Josh Billings

Good Laughter Feeling

It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so. Josh Billings

Better Nothing Know

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. - Josh Billings

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. Josh Billings

Experience Nothing Easy

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe. - Josh Billings

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe. Josh Billings

Wisdom Learning Awake

You'd better not know so much, than to know so many things that ain't so. Josh Billings

Better Know Things

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. Josh Billings

Truth Always Truth Is

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. - Josh Billings

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. Josh Billings

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. Josh Billings

Wisdom World Honesty

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. Josh Billings

Man Adversity Fighting

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. - Josh Billings

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. Josh Billings

Truth People Tell

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. - Josh Billings

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. Josh Billings

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined. Josh Billings

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius. - Josh Billings

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius. Josh Billings

Genius Enough Common Sense

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. - Josh Billings

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. Josh Billings

Funny Power Great

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done. Josh Billings

Done Doing Common Sense

Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words. - Josh Billings

Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words. Josh Billings

Words Never Ideas

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. - Josh Billings

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. Josh Billings

Family Good Woman

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. Josh Billings

Never Mistakes Conscience

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. - Josh Billings

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. Josh Billings

Funny Man Interesting

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. - Josh Billings

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. Josh Billings

Advice Enough Easy

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves. Josh Billings

Knowledge Money More

One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can. Josh Billings

Best Man Things

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough. Josh Billings

Life Enough Saying

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit. Josh Billings

World Living Fun

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. - Josh Billings

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. Josh Billings

Intelligence Genius More

Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since. Josh Billings

Man Angels Ever

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billings

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. Josh Billings

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got. - Josh Billings

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got. Josh Billings

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb. Josh Billings

Time Man Enough

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. Josh Billings

Travel Yourself Way

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us. Josh Billings

Age Youth Old Age

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry. - Josh Billings

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry. Josh Billings

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal. Josh Billings

Tea Old Scandal

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. Josh Billings

I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money. Josh Billings

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. Josh Billings

Love Love Is Blind

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. Josh Billings

Men Economy Return

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. Josh Billings

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go. Josh Billings

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it. Josh Billings

Remember Will Nobody

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. Josh Billings

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout. Josh Billings

Best Medicine Know

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. - Josh Billings

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. Josh Billings

Intelligence Nothing Evidence

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