Jerry Seinfeld Quotes - Page 2

American - Comedian Born: April 29, 1954

I've done a number of Super Bowl ads. And that is the best advertising of the year. That is when people realize they're going to be compared directly against other ads.

Best, People, Advertising, Realize, Done

When I was a comic in the 1980s, I was on the road somewhere every day, and I'd get back to the hotel, and it was Carson and Letterman, and I looked forward to that all day.

Day, Road, Forward, Back, Every Day, Get

The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.

Personality, Truth, Truth Is, Always

I don't want to be too critical of what other people do, but when people go back to do the same thing that they did, I'm completely confused. I'm like, 'Didn't you make that movie already?' I've been very fortunate, and I'm well taken care of, so the least I can do is try to go forward.

People, You, Confused, Care, Forward, Go

I kind of thought that stand-up comedy would suffer from the Internet because people seem to know more about the craft of stand-up than ever before. I thought it would seem trite. Kind of like if you know more about magicians, you wouldn't love them.

Love, People, Thought, Internet, You

I do a little thing about the way people shake the sweetener packet. You know, like they're all excited. I want to get all the granules down to one end. I love all these rituals.

Love, People, You, End, Down, Way

I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.

Walk, Me, Look, People, I Can, Hotel

We've fallen into a trap of ever-widening orbits of contact, and there is a total disregard for the present moment.

Moment, Present, Contact, Present Moment

I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make the team.

Good, Team, I Can, Three, Two, Something

When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself.

Myself, Business, Bee, Roof, Costume

I like definitive things.

Things, Like, Definitive

The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.

You, Fun, Talk, Get, Knowing, Greatest

When you're in comedy, people always come up and say, 'Oh, it must be so hard.' It really isn't hard unless you're not good at it. If you can do it, its really kind of fun and easy.

Good, People, You, Fun, You Can Do It

Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.

Death, You, Road, Start, Doing, Only

You spend so much time in the world of virtual that the actual - which nothing is more actual than stand-up - it's a painful experience for the audience, and the comedian a lot of time - we miss that.

Time, Experience, You, World, Painful

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'

Women, Me, Men, Think, Naked, Advice

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

Marriage, Water, Smoke, Game, You, Chess

If you're a surfer, you just want to surf. You don't know if anyone's going to see you, and you don't really care if they see you. You just live for that feeling.

Live, You, Feeling, Care, Know, See

My theory is 98 percent of all human endeavor is killing time.

Time, Human, Percent, Theory, Endeavor

Crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. My wife and I were discussing the different types of cranky. There's entertaining cranky, annoying cranky, angry cranky.

Wife, Angry, Comedy, Different, Annoying

We sold 'Seinfeld' all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in others they hated it.

World, Down, Others, Kind, Over, Some

The worst way of flying, I think, is standby. It never works. That's why they call it standby. You end up standing there going, 'Bye!'

Think, You, Flying, End, Way, Never

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.

I Am, Me, You, Busy, Know, Doing

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

Me, People, True, Spirit, Christmas

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Men, Care, Only, TV, Else

I think of myself more as a sportsman than I do an artist.

Myself, Think, Artist, More, Than

Loading...

Load more quotes

Related Authors

Rodney Dangerfield

BrainyQuote

BrainyQuote Desktop

BrainyQuote Mobile

Site

Quote Of The Day

Social

BQ on Pinterest

BQ on Instagram

Apps

iPhone/iPad app

Quote Of The Day Feeds

Javascript and RSS feeds

WordPress plugin

Quote of the Day Email

About

Copyright © 2001 - 2019 BrainyQuote

Language: Español | Français