Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.

You see things; and you say 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say 'Why not?'

Youth is wasted on the young.

Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.

You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul.

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.

Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.

There is nothing more dangerous than the conscience of a bigot.

Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable.

Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness.

We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.

If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can't find them, make them.

The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity.

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.

You cannot be a hero without being a coward.

Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.

A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion.

Kings are not born: they are made by artificial hallucination.

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means.

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.

Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.

The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.

Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.

All great truths begin as blasphemies.

The great advantage of a hotel is that it is a refuge from home life.

The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.

Science never solves a problem without creating ten more.

The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power.

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.

In socialism, private property is anathema, and equal distribution of income the first consideration. In capitalism, private property is cardinal, and distribution left to ensue from the play of free contract and selfish interest on that basis, no matter what anomalies it may present.

You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.

We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence... on pain of liquidation.