The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Andy Rooney Quotes

American - Journalist January 14, 1919 - November 4, 2011

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Andy Rooney

Pet, Average, Average Person

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. - Andy Rooney

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. Andy Rooney

Smile, Mean, Else

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney

Long Life, Paradoxical

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter. Andy Rooney

Meaning, Old, Vegetarian

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives. Andy Rooney

Teacher, Rest, Six

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe. Andy Rooney

Truth, Will, Only

Nothing in fine print is ever good news. Andy Rooney

News, Print, Ever

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. Andy Rooney

Chance, Probability, Rule

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment. Andy Rooney

Door, Bring, Terror

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Andy Rooney

Computers, Most, Lot

Top 10
Andy Rooney
Quotes

The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means. Andy Rooney

Means, Olympic, Sport

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting. Andy Rooney

Food, Buy, Arranged

I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number? Andy Rooney

Why, Telephone Number, Out

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points. Andy Rooney

Game, Ice, Your

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. Andy Rooney

Living, Christmas, Messes

We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones. Andy Rooney

Big, Proud, Making

Elephants and grandchildren never forget. Andy Rooney

Grandchildren, Forget, Never

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper. Andy Rooney

Want, Some, Pepper

Death is a distant rumor to the young. Andy Rooney

Death, Young, Rumor

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads. Andy Rooney

Computers, Waste, Sure

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians. Andy Rooney

Other, Only, Reporters

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. Andy Rooney

Take, Would, Lot

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys. Andy Rooney

Think, I Think, Very

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens. Andy Rooney

Happiness, How, Depends

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens. Andy Rooney

Golf, Watches, Grow

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you. Andy Rooney

Next, Mail, Your

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