Andy Rooney Quotes - BrainyQuote

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Andy Rooney

Dog, Pet, Person, Average, Than, Nicer

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. Andy Rooney

Day, World, Christmas, Living, Clean, Up

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. - Andy Rooney

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. Andy Rooney

Smile, You, Mean, Around, Really, Else

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment. Andy Rooney

Sad, Moment, Blessed, Door, Privacy

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney

Life, Long, Living, Getting Old, Old

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens. Andy Rooney

Golf, Watches, Enjoy, Grow, Television

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting. Andy Rooney

Time, Food, Cooking, Chef, Painting, Me

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points. Andy Rooney

Time, Eyes, Hockey, Game, Too Much, Hard

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. Andy Rooney

Chance, You, Wrong, Right, Probability

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie? Andy Rooney

Man, Real Man, Eating, Real, Get, Caught

Top 10
Andy Rooney
Quotes

Elephants and grandchildren never forget. Andy Rooney

Grandchildren, Never Forget, Forget

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives. Andy Rooney

Teacher, People, End, Rest, Remember, Us

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe. Andy Rooney

Truth, People, Believe, Facts, Accept

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Andy Rooney

Computers, Need, Done, Things, Most, Lot

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread. Andy Rooney

Respect, Progress, Effort, Government

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter. Andy Rooney

Meaning, Vegetarian, Old, Word, Indian

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. Andy Rooney

Fun, Talk, Dogs, Out, Take, Owning

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper. Andy Rooney

Me, Want, Fresh, Ask, Ground, Pepper

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran. Andy Rooney

Wish, Sales, More, Little, Less, Just

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys. Andy Rooney

Smart, People, Think, Dumb, Say, Want

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account. Andy Rooney

Time, Great, Game, Doing, Worth, I Can

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians. Andy Rooney

People, Say, Politicians, Things, Only

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you. Andy Rooney

Hope, Live, Money, Government, You, Want

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. Andy Rooney

People, Need, Workers, Bosses, Things

Death is a distant rumor to the young. Andy Rooney

Death, Young, Distant, Rumor

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens. Andy Rooney

Life, Happiness, You, More, Happens, How

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