Andy Rooney Quotes

American - Journalist January 14, 1919 - November 4, 2011

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Andy Rooney

Dog, Pet, Person, Average, Than, Nicer

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. - Andy Rooney

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. Andy Rooney

Smile, You, Mean, Else, Around, Really

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe. Andy Rooney

Truth, People, Believe, Facts, Accept

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting. Andy Rooney

Food, Time, Cooking, Me, Chef, Painting

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads. Andy Rooney

Time, Computers, Garbage, Everything

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. Andy Rooney

Chance, You, Wrong, Right, Probability

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter. Andy Rooney

Meaning, Old, Vegetarian, Hunter, Word

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives. Andy Rooney

Teacher, People, Rest, Remember, End, Up

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. Andy Rooney

Fun, Talk, Dogs, Out, Take, Would

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney

Life, Long, Getting Old, Living, Old

Top 10
Andy Rooney
Quotes

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens. Andy Rooney

Watches, Grow, Television, Enjoy, Golf

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment. Andy Rooney

Sad, Moment, Blessed, Door, Comfort

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. Andy Rooney

Day, World, Living, Up, Clean, Christmas

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Andy Rooney

Computers, Done, Need, Things, Easier

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread. Andy Rooney

Respect, Progress, Effort, Government

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you. Andy Rooney

Purpose, You, Lucky, Old, Happen, Get

Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head. Andy Rooney

Hands, Head, Out, Working, Rule, Your

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie? Andy Rooney

Man, Eating, Real Man, Real, Get, Caught

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt. Andy Rooney

Good, Sexy, Hurt, Television, Skating

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran. Andy Rooney

Wish, Sales, More, Little, Just, Arms

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you. Andy Rooney

Hope, Live, Money, Government, You, Want

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men. Andy Rooney

Business, Man, Men, Differences, Young

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points. Andy Rooney

Eyes, Time, Hockey, Game, Ice, Too Much

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians. Andy Rooney

People, Say, Politicians, Things, Worse

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of. Andy Rooney

People, Wish, Rich, Important, Person

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. Andy Rooney

People, Need, Things, Workers, Who, Many

Loading...

Load more quotes

Related Authors

Hunter S. Thompson

Mignon McLaughlin

William F. Buckley, Jr.

BrainyQuote

BrainyQuote Desktop

BrainyQuote Mobile

Site

Quote Of The Day

Social

BQ on Pinterest

BQ on Instagram

Apps

iPhone/iPad app

Quote Of The Day Feeds

Javascript and RSS feeds

WordPress plugin

Quote of the Day Email

About

Copyright © 2001 - 2019 BrainyQuote

Language: Español | Français

Please disable your ad blocker

OK