Andy Rooney Quotes - BrainyQuote

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Andy Rooney

Pet, Average, Average Person

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. - Andy Rooney

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. Andy Rooney

Smile, Else, Mean

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney

Paradoxical, Long Life

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe. Andy Rooney

Truth, Will, Only

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives. Andy Rooney

Rest, Teacher, Six

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Andy Rooney

Computers, Lot, Most

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. Andy Rooney

Chance, Probability, Rule

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment. Andy Rooney

Door, Terror, Bring

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread. Andy Rooney

Perfect, Effort, Tomato

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting. Andy Rooney

Food, Buy, Arranged

Top 10
Andy Rooney
Quotes

Elephants and grandchildren never forget. Andy Rooney

Never, Forget, Grandchildren

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. Andy Rooney

Actually, Need, Too

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran. Andy Rooney

Knew, More, Iran

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians. Andy Rooney

Reporters, Other, Only

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter. Andy Rooney

Vegetarian, Old, Meaning

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys. Andy Rooney

Think, Very, I Think

Nothing in fine print is ever good news. Andy Rooney

News, Ever, Print

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. Andy Rooney

Lot, Take, Would

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points. Andy Rooney

Game, Ice, Your

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens. Andy Rooney

Happiness, How, Depends

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie? Andy Rooney

Get, Caught, Would

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you. Andy Rooney

Purpose, Lucky, Happen

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens. Andy Rooney

Watches, Golf, Grow

All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law. Andy Rooney

Equal, Treated, Law

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. Andy Rooney

Living, Christmas, Messes

The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough. Andy Rooney

Bad, Some, Professionals

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