An instrument for intensifying and making audible very feeble sounds. It produces its effects by the changes of intensity in an electric current, occasioned by the variations in the contact resistance of conducting bodies, especially of imperfect conductors, under the action of acoustic vibrations.
I think a lot of people mistake my confidence on stage for cockiness in real life, and that's actually farthest from the truth. When I'm on stage, I'm that confident and that cocky because I have a microphone in my hand, and there's a few thousand people staring at me. And I know they're there to laugh. Russell Peters
I have a microphone on one ankle and an ankle bracelet on the other, so I'm well balanced today. Martha Stewart
I play a percussion instrument, not a musical saw; it needs no amplification. Where it's needed, they put a microphone in front of the bass drum. But, I don't think it's necessary to play that way every night. Buddy Rich
I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once. Mitch Hedberg
With the advent of cell phones, especially with the very small microphone that attach to the cell phone itself, it's getting harder and harder I find, to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. Bob Newhart