Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
Henny Youngman

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
James C. Dobson

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
Mae West

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
Oscar Wilde

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.
Lord Byron

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year.
Bette Davis

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.
Lee Grant

If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.
Michel de Montaigne

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.
Mignon McLaughlin

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
Alan King

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
Katharine Hepburn

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
Robert Anderson

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.
Helen Rowland

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
Benjamin Disraeli

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.
Helen Rowland

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Robert Frost

Love is often the fruit of marriage.
Moliere