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On every birthday, I ask my wife, 'What would you like this year?' and her instant reply is, 'Diamonds! Diamonds! Diamonds!' I'm always living in hope that one day she'll say she just wants me!
The main prank that we play with props is for people's birthdays. The special effects people will put a little explosive in the cake so it blows up in their face - that's always fun to play on a guest star, or one of the trainees or someone who's new.
When I was little I thought, isn't it nice that everybody celebrates on my birthday? Because it's July 4th.
I think there's something about the homemade birthday cake, because my wife, on my daughter's first birthday, started the tradition where she takes a full cake and cuts the number birthday out of it.
Love the giver more than the gift.
When I was in elementary school, I used to write letters to myself. I'd write letters and go 'Dear Kristen-at-16-years-old, happy birthday. I hope you're doing something.'
My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.
I have 'Happy Birthday' in multiple languages on my iPod - I like to play it at company birthday parties.
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
E. Joseph Cossman
My biggest hero, Gregory Peck, was my birthday present on April 14, 1973. I just sat and stared at him.
My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.
The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
Every year on my birthday, I start a new playlist titled after my current age so I can keep track of my favorite songs of the year as a sort of musical diary because I am a teenage girl.
To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.
I get uncomfortable when people give me presents and watch me open them. I don't have birthday parties, because the idea of a group of people singing and looking at me while I'm blowing out candles gives me hives.
If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?
I'm not going to be caught around here for any fool celebration. To hell with birthdays!
I love a card. You know, cards? At birthdays? I collect them.
I like to go to anybody else's birthday, and if I'm invited I'm a good guest. But I never celebrate my birthdays. I really don't care.
In 1993 my birthday present was a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Brevity is the soul of wit.
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