The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible... and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
Victor Borge