I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright

So, do you live around here often?
Steven Wright

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
Steven Wright

At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright

On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
Steven Wright

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright