In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Stephen Leacock

It may be those who do most, dream most.
Stephen Leacock

On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing.
Stephen Leacock

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
Stephen Leacock

Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.
Stephen Leacock

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.
Stephen Leacock

If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.
Stephen Leacock

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
Stephen Leacock