Phyllis Diller Quotes

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
Phyllis Diller

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.
Phyllis Diller

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Phyllis Diller

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
Phyllis Diller

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller Quotes
		We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Phyllis Diller Vote on this Quote: Bad <---> Good
		Author Details: Type: Comedian Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes Date of Birth: July 17, 1917 Nationality: American Amazon: Phyllis Diller on Amazon	Related Authors: George Carlin Bill Cosby Groucho Marx Steven Wright W. C. Fields Mitch Hedberg Rodney Dangerfield Jack Benny Steve Martin
		Select Phyllis Diller Quotations: My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me. Phyllis Diller I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. Phyllis Diller Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. Phyllis Diller A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. Phyllis Diller There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? Phyllis Diller I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? Phyllis Diller
Quote Keywords: Children, Down, First, Lives, Months, Next, Our, Shut, Sit, Spend, Talk, Teaching, Telling, Them, Twelve, Up, Walk	Dictionary Links: Children, Down, First, Lives, Next, Our, Shut, Sit, Spend, Talk, Teaching, Telling, Them, Twelve, Up, Walk	All Phyllis Diller Quotations: A bachelor is a guy who... A smile is a curve that... Aim high, and you won't shoot... Always be nice to your children... Any time three New Yorkers get... Best way to get rid of... Burt Reynolds once asked me out... Cleaning your house while your kids... His finest hour lasted a minute... Housework can't kill you, but why... I admit, I have a tremendous... I asked the waiter, 'Is this... I buried a lot of my... I want my children to have... I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. I've been asked to say a... If it weren't for baseball, many... It's a good thing that beauty... Most children threaten at times to... My cooking is so bad my... My mother-in-law had a... My photographs don't do me justice... My recipe for dealing with anger... Never go to bed mad. Stay... Old age is when the liver... Our dog died from licking our... The real reason your pro tells... The reason the pro tells you... The reason women don't play football... There's a new medical crisis. Doctors... There's so little money in my... Tranquilizers work only if you follow... We spend the first twelve months... What I don't like about office... Whatever you may look like, marry... You know you're old if they... You know you're old if your...

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