I have sometimes imagined my own death and brought myself to tears.
Martin Short

No one is any one thing.
Martin Short

I've chosen to treat my life more like a party than something to stress about.
Martin Short

David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late '80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He's a very cool, hip guy. This film, let's face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he'd find it funny.
Martin Short

All these things that enter your head are assignments. You write them up and then throw them out there and if someone wants to do it, your assignment is done.
Martin Short

What I learned, a little too late, was that the 'traditional' Martin Short target viewer weighs under 300 pounds. Unfortunately, I was on during daytime.
Martin Short

You go through publicists because it's easy for a publicist to say to another publicist, "No".
Martin Short