The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Mark Russell

I can't think of a performer who is better on television than in person.
Mark Russell

Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business. My business.
Mark Russell

The thing that you're faulted on today is not that you are too tough, or not that you aren't careful. It's that you might have been too soft. People want that red meat now because you have to keep up with the mood and the mood today is harsh. It really is.
Mark Russell

Humor is very very risky, particularly for a candidate, unless he's been in so long that it just doesn't matter, and he's not running for president. But it's just that people are so sensitive and so touchy, and you're just going to upset somebody without ever realizing it.
Mark Russell

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.
Mark Russell

You know that a given in life in human nature, is that at a sporting event, a baseball game, a football game, you never introduce a politician, is because he'll be booed. I don't care if he's the most beloved person in the world, its part of the game.
Mark Russell