I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private individuals.
Joseph Heller

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
Joseph Heller

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Joseph Heller

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
Joseph Heller

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.
Joseph Heller

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
Joseph Heller

Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war - for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I'd say we deserve ours more.
Joseph Heller

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as "Catch-22" I'm tempted to reply, "Who has?"
Joseph Heller