Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
John Cleese

Who's ever going to write a film in which I get the girl? Me!
John Cleese

If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'
John Cleese

A man will give up almost anything except his suffering.
John Cleese

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
John Cleese

I want to write a book which is the history of comedy.
John Cleese

The really good idea is always traceable back quite a long way, often to a not very good idea which sparked off another idea that was only slightly better, which somebody else misunderstood in such a way that they then said something which was really rather interesting.
John Cleese

It seems astounding to me now that the video games are perhaps as important as the movie themselves. And people will spend 2 or 3 years obsessing about the video game in exactly the same way that they'd be obsessing about the movie if they were working on that.
John Cleese