I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
Joan Rivers

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Joan Rivers

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
Joan Rivers

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Joan Rivers