George Carlin Quotes

Think off-center.
George Carlin

Always do whatever's next.
George Carlin

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin

George Carlin Quotes
		The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. George Carlin Vote on this Quote: Bad <---> Good
		Author Details: Type: Comedian Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes Date of Birth: May 12, 1937 Date of Death: June 22, 2008 Nationality: American Amazon: George Carlin on Amazon	Related Authors: Henny Youngman W. C. Fields Groucho Marx Rodney Dangerfield P. J. O'Rourke Bill Cosby Steven Wright Rita Rudner
		Select George Carlin Quotations: Think off-center. George Carlin Always do whatever's next. George Carlin Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. George Carlin Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. George Carlin The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin Weather forecast for tonight: dark. George Carlin
Quote Keywords: Close, Done, Enough, Existence, Fire, Get, Job, Just, Know, Over, Proves, Said, Set, Some, Someone, Somewhere, Themselves, Those, Time, Very, Want	Dictionary Links: Close, Done, Enough, Existence, Fire, Get, Job, Just, Know, Over, Said, Set, Some, Somewhere, Themselves, Those, Time, Very, Want	All George Carlin Quotations: Always do whatever's next. At a formal dinner party, the... Atheism is a non-prophet organization. By and large, language is a... Death is caused by swallowing small... Don't sweat the petty things and... Dusting is a good example of... Electricity is really just organized lightning. Fighting for peace is like screwing... Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when... Have you ever noticed that anybody... I am" is reportedly the shortest... I have as much authority as... I recently went to a new... I think it would be interesting... I think people should be allowed... I was thinking about how people... I went to a bookstore and... I would never want to be... I'm always relieved when someone is... I'm completely in favor of the... I'm not concerned about all hell... If it's true that our species... If we could just find out... If you can't beat them, arrange... In comic strips, the person on... Inside every cynical person, there is... Just cause you got the monkey... May the forces of evil become... Most people work just hard enough... Not only do I not know... One can never know for sure... One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. People who say they don't care... Religion is just mind control. Some people see things that are... Standing ovations have become far too... The main reason Santa is so... The other night I ate at... The reason I talk to myself... The status quo sucks. The very existence of flame-throwers... There are nights when the wolves... There's no present. There's only the... Think off-center. Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Well, if crime fighters fight crime... What does it mean to pre... When someone is impatient and says... When Thomas Edison worked late into... When you step on the brakes... When you're born you get a... You know an odd feeling? Sitting... You know the good part about...

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