My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Erma Bombeck

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me".
Erma Bombeck

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
Erma Bombeck

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
Erma Bombeck

Children make your life important.
Erma Bombeck

Never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
Erma Bombeck

God created man, but I could do better.
Erma Bombeck