He has your finger, but I have your heart.
Brian Celio

The only way to get under me is to get over yourself.
Brian Celio

True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't.
Brian Celio

I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?
Brian Celio

A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.
Brian Celio

Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both.
Brian Celio

I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever.
Brian Celio