Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.
Bob Uecker

If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.
Bob Uecker

Let's face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can't resist.
Bob Uecker

I had slumps that lasted into the winter.
Bob Uecker

The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.
Bob Uecker

When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team's dugout and they were already in street clothes.
Bob Uecker

Sure, women sportswriters look when they're in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word?
Bob Uecker