Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'
Bill Maher

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."
Bill Maher

If you think you have it tough, read history books.
Bill Maher

Men are only as loyal as their options.
Bill Maher

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.
Bill Maher

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
Bill Maher

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
Bill Maher

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.
Bill Maher