Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.
H. L. Mencken

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
H. L. Mencken

The year was 2081, and everyone was finally equal.
Kurt Vonnegut

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money winner's list.
Lee Trevino

I know this sounds strange, but as a kid, I was really shy. Painfully shy. The turning point was freshman year, when I was the biggest geek alive. No one, I mean no one, even talked to me.
Jim Carrey

Science has not yet mastered prophecy. We predict too much for the next year and yet far too little for the next 10.
Neil Armstrong

After all, I don't see why I am always asking for private, individual, selfish miracles when every year there are miracles like white dogwood.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.
Jay Leno

The Lord can give, and the Lord can take away. I might be herding sheep next year.
Elvis Presley

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
Jeff Foxworthy

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
Gracie Allen

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
Charles Dickens

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
Douglas Adams

I waited with a beeper for a year and 10 months to get that gift.
Shelley Fabares

I'd go to, like, six different schools in one year. We were on welfare, and my mom never ever worked.
Eminem

I'm not a Hollywood basher because enough good movies come out of the Hollywood system every year to justify its existence, without any apologies.
Quentin Tarantino

That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
Dane Cook

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.
Dane Cook

Virgin Records will probably release their own package sometime next year.
Paula Abdul

Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
Ellen DeGeneres