It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil. If they would only expend the same amount of energy loving their fellow men, the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui.
Helen Keller

The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse.
Helen Keller

I would rather entertain and hope that people learned something than educate people and hope they were entertained.
Walt Disney

We did it Disneyland, in the knowledge that most of the people I talked to thought it would be a financial disaster - closed and forgotten within the first year.
Walt Disney

It's no secret that we were sticking just about every nickel we had on the chance that people would really be interested in something totally new and unique in the field of entertainment.
Walt Disney

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Groucho Marx

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Steven Wright

If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Steven Wright

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Steven Wright

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Steven Wright

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright

It would be very glamorous to be reincarnated as a great big ring on Liz Taylor's finger.
Andy Warhol

Women would rather be right than reasonable.
Ogden Nash

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
Ogden Nash

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.
Will Rogers