What's the difference between sex and love? I have four wives and five kids. I apparently don't know the difference.
James Caan

When they look back on me I want 'em to remember me not for all my wives, although I've had a few, and certainly not for any mansions or high livin' money I made and spent. I want 'em to remember me simply for my music.
Jerry Lee Lewis

When we won the league championship, all the married guys on the club had to thank their wives for putting up with all the stress and strain all season. I had to thank all the single broads in New York.
Joe Namath

White men have always controlled their wives' wages. Colored men were not able to do so until they themselves became free. Then they owned both their wives and their wages.
Susan B. Anthony

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman

Wickets are like wives. You never know what to expect from them.
Navjot Singh Sidhu

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Groucho Marx

Wives are young men's mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men's nurses.
Francis Bacon

Wives in their husbands' absences grow subtler, And daughters sometimes run off with the butler.
George Byron

Women are at last becoming persons first and wives second, and that is as it should be.
May Sarton

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
Dick Van Dyke