Witty Quotes

Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane.
Johnny Vegas

Yourself, Lost, Find

Conquered people tend to be witty.
Saul Bellow

Conquered, Tend

In fact, to gull a fool seems to me an exploit worthy of a witty man.
Giacomo Casanova

Fool, Fact, Seems

As soon as she gets her divorce one of us is going to marry her. We don't know which. She is about as beautiful a woman as I ever saw, and very witty and well-informed, but it would cost a good deal to keep her in diamonds.
Richard H. Davis

Good, Beautiful, Woman

Your wit makes others witty.
Catherine the Great

Others, Makes, Wit

My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty.
Ian Hislop

Life, Funny, Mother

The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.
Florence King

Life, Women, Woman

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.
Colin Quinn

Reason, English, Impression

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.
Paula Poundstone

Love, Long, Mean

I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny - or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way.
Mo Rocca

Funny, Cool, Mean

The middle class is doing fine in fiction. But it's not what gets me going. I love the working class, and everyone from it I've met, and think they're incredibly witty, inventive - there's a lot of poetry there.
Martin Amis

Love, Poetry, Working

You can pretend to be serious; but you can't pretend to be witty.
Sacha Guitry

Serious, Pretend

There's a real emphasis on being witty in Scotland, even in crime novels.
Denise Mina

Real, Crime, Scotland

There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature.
Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Though lust do masque in ne'er so strange disguise she's oft found witty, but is never wise.
John Webster

Wise, Strange, She

John F. Kennedy brought style and charisma to the White House and a first family that captivated the country: a handsome, witty president, an elegant first lady, and two adorable young children.
Kitty Kelley

Family, Children, Country

I've been enjoying 'Life on the Mississippi' by Mark Twain that I picked up at the airport randomly. It's very witty and interesting to read about his time as a steamboat pilot.
Roman Coppola

Life, Time, Read

Now, where does my comedy come from, like, as a human being? Yeah, when I was a kid I was dyslexic and had to go to special-ed every day and felt stupid about that and got very witty to defend myself.
Dax Shepard

Stupid, Human, Comedy

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.
Dylan Moran

Life, Character, Real

I was so amazingly witty when I had the No. 1 movie, you have no idea. People laughed at every single one of my jokes. Then when I hadn't had a hit for three or four years, some of these same people pretended they didn't see me when I walked in the room.
Rebecca De Mornay

Single, Same, Idea

They sit there in committees day after day, And they each put in a color and it comes out gray. And we all have heard the saying, which is true as well as witty, That a camel is a horse that was designed by a committee.
Allan Sherman

True, Saying, After

It's very witty and it's great to see teenage characters have control that way. And you can actually hear about sex and pot and it's okay, it's not completely bad and you can't say that to teenagers.
Caroline Dhavernas

Great, Sex, Bad

I'm hopefully touring with Colin Baker next year in Perfect Strangers. I have performed with Sylvia Simms in poetry and music evenings. I would love to do those for the rest of my career - they are so fun and witty.
Louise Jameson

Love, Music, Poetry

I fear nothing so much as a man who is witty all day long.
Madame de Sevigne

Fear, Long, Nothing

I've worked a lot with Noah Baumbach, and he doesn't make it easy to like his characters, but the stories are funny and witty and there's an edge to that kind of humanity.
Ciaran Hinds

Funny, Humanity, Easy

I like witty people, people who can be witty on the spot.
Rob Brydon

Generally speaking, there is more wit than talent in the world. Society swarms with witty people who lack talent.
Antoine Rivarol

Society, Talent, Lack

This is one of his most human and most amusing and witty novels. The characters are very Indian. I decided that I wanted to do a comedy, so this was just the right one.
Ismail Merchant

Human, Wanted, Comedy

A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.
Irvin S. Cobb

Woman, Laugh, May

A large nose is in fact the sign of an affable man, good, courteous, witty, liberal, courageous, such as I am.
Edmond Rostand

Good, Fact, Nose

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Agatha Christie

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