Quote of the Day
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A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
Caesar's wife must be above suspicion.
As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.
The husband and wife are one, and that one is the husband.
What I am defending is the real rights of women. A woman should have the right to be in the home as a wife and mother.
I love my children and I love my wife with all my heart. And I would die, die gladly, if that would make a better life for them.
My most annoying habit is complaining about my aches and pains. It's the new ones that I haven't identified yet that make me nervous. According to my wife, I complain way too much. I may be a borderline hypochondriac, or you could say I am fascinated by the body - at least by mine.
I get up at sunrise. I'm a Buddhist, so I chant in the morning. My wife and I sit and have coffee together, but then it's list-making time. I have carpentry projects. We have roads we keep in repair. It's not back-breaking, but it's certainly aerobic and mildly strenuous.
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
Writing is a solitary experience. I'm extremely superstitious. If I talk about the book or name the title out loud before finishing, I feel the energy I need to write will be drained. It's so intimate, I can't even share it with my wife.
I promise to be an excellent husband, but give me a wife who, like the moon, will not appear every day in my sky.
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
I want to be a good wife, a good mother, a good person.
My wrestling and family go together. It's always been that way, from day one with my mom and dad, my sister, my wife, four daughters, grandsons, son-in-laws.
Years ago, I picked up figure skating. How hard could spins and jumps be, I thought? It's just applied Newtonian physics. After repeatedly falling on my rear end, I realized it was harder than I thought. But it had an upside. That is how I met my wife, who was ice dancing at the Rockefeller Center ice rink.
Usually action films have a formula: good guy gets in trouble, his wife dies, friends have problems, so he goes to the mountain, learns martial arts, comes back, and kills the bad guy.
As ugly an admission as this is, I met my wife at a party, and if I had been to the same party and she were dressed in different clothes, I might never have talked to her. She might have projected something that I found distasteful, even if she otherwise looked exactly the same - a beautiful woman to me.
I had a friend, Melissa, who was 28 years old. She was my best friend's wife, and she was my wife's best friend. She died of breast cancer. When she passed away back in 2004 was the last time I cried.
The moment I was introduced to my wife, Emma, at a party I thought, here she is - and 20 minutes later I told her she ought to marry me. She thought I was as mad as a rat. She wouldn't even give me her telephone number - and she wrote in her diary: 'A funny little man asked me to marry him.'
I tend to do something for two years then move on to something new. Yoga, then biking, then weight lifting, then back to biking. The moment it feels like a rut, I switch and search for a new love. It's like having a midlife crisis, but without the new wife or cheesy BMW.
My current role model is Beyonce. She is such a strong woman. She can do everything. She has kept herself together and has balanced her life perfectly. She is a great singer, great dancer and a great looker and is now a good mother and wife.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
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