Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
H. L. Mencken

My wife doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I don't have a good time.
Lee Trevino

I've traveled the world and been about everywhere you can imagine. There's not anything I'm scared of except my wife.
Lee Trevino

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
Jeff Foxworthy

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy

He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief.
Francis Bacon

This character feels so much like my brother. He has two children. He has a wife. He works with me. He chooses to stay in New Hampshire because he wants his kids to grow up in the school they started with. He doesn't want them to lose friends. He is his family's hero.
Adam Sandler

There is no such thing as being good to your wife.
Gertrude Stein

Intelligence is the wife, imagination is the mistress, memory is the servant.
Victor Hugo

The house wife is an unpaid employee in her husband's house in return for the security of being a permanent employee.
Germaine Greer

My wife, she still gives me a hard time, and says I hunt too much or I like to play golf too much. And she's probably right, but it sure beats some of the things I used to do.
Brett Favre

The party now is having my kids laugh and my wife laugh and my teammates. I want them to see me have fun and put it in a different way.
Brett Favre

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
Jimmy Carter

I believe I'm a better authority than anybody else in America on my own wife. I have never known a person with a stronger sense of right and wrong in my life ever.
William J. Clinton

My plan after office is to get up and spend that entire first day helping my wife move into her new senatorial office.
William J. Clinton

They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel

He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
Douglas Adams

Sometimes, when my wife and I were going out to dinner, I would take my laptop with me and work in the car, so as to take advantage of the half hour going and coming.
Thomas Friedman

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Michel de Montaigne

I'd love to do a character with a wife, a nice little house, a couple of kids, a dog, maybe a bit of singing, and no guns and no killing, but nobody offers me those kind of parts.
Christopher Walken