It is flagrantly dishonest for an advertising agent to urge consumers to buy a product which he would not allow his own wife to buy.
David Ogilvy

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.
David Ogilvy

A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day like a sister does and pleases him like a prostitute in the night.
Chanakya

Test a servant while in the discharge of his duty, a relative in difficulty, a friend in adversity, and a wife in misfortune.
Chanakya

I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'
Emo Philips

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
Jay Leno

Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It's all lies. I have never laid a finger on her.
Mike Tyson

You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat.
Mike Tyson

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson

If you let a bully come in your front yard, he'll be on your porch the next day and the day after that he'll rape your wife in your own bed.
Lyndon B. Johnson

Greater love hath no man than to attend the Episcopal Church with his wife.
Lyndon B. Johnson

Heaven will be no heaven to me if I do not meet my wife there.
Andrew Jackson

I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three seconds. I've even forgotten my wife's name on occasion.
Don Adams

I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again.
Don Adams

This is a big deal. My wife and I sat in our home and we watched those young men get slaughtered on the streets of Mogadishu in the absence of a plan. It broke our heart.
Dick Armey

I have known more men destroyed by the desire to have wife and child and to keep them in comfort than I have seen destroyed by drink and harlots.
William Butler Yeats

Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
Hubert H. Humphrey

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
H. L. Mencken

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
H. L. Mencken