Passion is the evil in adultery. If a man has no opportunity of living with another man's wife, but if it is obvious for some reason that he would like to do so, and would do so if he could, he is no less guilty than if he was caught in the act.
Saint Augustine

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
Voltaire

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
Jane Austen

What is a wife and what is a harlot? What is a church and what is a theatre? are they two and not one? Can they exist separate? Are not religion and politics the same thing? Brotherhood is religion. O demonstrations of reason dividing families in cruelty and pride!
William Blake

What is the price of experience? Do men buy it for a song? Or wisdom for a dance in the street? No, it is bought with the price of all the man hath, his house, his wife, his children.
William Blake

Caesar's wife must be above suspicion.
Julius Caesar

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
P. J. O'Rourke

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
Woody Allen

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
Woody Allen

I'll be a wife and mother first, then First Lady.
Jackie Kennedy

Never in any case say I have lost such a thing, but I have returned it. Is your child dead? It is a return. Is your wife dead? It is a return. Are you deprived of your estate? Is not this also a return?
Epictetus

Take my wife... Please!
Henny Youngman

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman

If I came in to recruit your son, I would tell you, your wife, and your son, that I will be the most demanding coach your son can play for.
Bobby Knight

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Joey Adams

Never write an advertisement which you wouldn't want your family to read. You wouldn't tell lies to your own wife. Don't tell them to mine.
David Ogilvy