The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
George Carlin

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
George Carlin

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
George Carlin

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
Benjamin Franklin

Where liberty is, there is my country.
Benjamin Franklin

Where sense is wanting, everything is wanting.
Benjamin Franklin

I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want.
Muhammad Ali

Where there is love there is life.
Mohandas Gandhi

Where love is, there God is also.
Mohandas Gandhi

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
Theodore Roosevelt

Appraisals are where you get together with your team leader and agree what an outstanding member of the team you are, how much your contribution has been valued, what massive potential you have and, in recognition of all this, would you mind having your salary halved.
Theodore Roosevelt

No people is wholly civilized where a distinction is drawn between stealing an office and stealing a purse.
Theodore Roosevelt

We are fast approaching the stage of the ultimate inversion: the stage where the government is free to do anything it pleases, while the citizens may act only by permission; which is the stage of the darkest periods of human history, the stage of rule by brute force.
Ayn Rand

It only stands to reason that where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master.
Ayn Rand

Force and mind are opposites; morality ends where a gun begins.
Ayn Rand

Only the man who does not need it, is fit to inherit wealth, the man who would make his fortune no matter where he started.
Ayn Rand

Art raises its head where creeds relax.
Friedrich Nietzsche

And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
Confucius

Where there is reverence there is fear, but there is not reverence everywhere that there is fear, because fear presumably has a wider extension than reverence.
Socrates