I believe we are still so innocent. The species are still so innocent that a person who is apt to be murdered believes that the murderer, just before he puts the final wrench on his throat, will have enough compassion to give him one sweet cup of water.
Maya Angelou

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
Mark Twain

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Mark Twain

Would that I were a dry well, and that the people tossed stones into me, for that would be easier than to be a spring of flowing water that the thirsty pass by, and from which they avoid drinking.
Kahlil Gibran

If you must speak ill of another, do not speak it, write it in the sand near the water's edge.
Napoleon Hill

Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams - they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do - they all contain truths.
Muhammad Ali

When the water starts boiling it is foolish to turn off the heat.
Nelson Mandela

Let there be work, bread, water and salt for all.
Nelson Mandela

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
Steven Wright

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.
Erma Bombeck

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg