Quote of the Day
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'
A diplomat these days in nothing, but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally.
When I talk about my husband, I feel as if people roll their eyes. It's like when you're 16 and order a martini, and the waiter says, 'Do you think I'm stupid?'. They can't grasp that I'm old enough to be married.
A man needs to be polite, not just to me but to everyone. I watch that. How does he treat the waiter? How does he treat the coat-check girl? How does he treat the driver?
I'm an assistant storyteller. It's like being a waiter or a gas-station attendant, but I'm waiting on six million people a week, if I'm lucky.
I never taste the wine first in restaurants, I just ask the waiter to pour.
It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.
I've never had to get a job as a waiter or anything. I've always been able to support myself in 'the biz.' Which is great. It's really fantastic to be able to say that, because I know it's hard to do.
My father was and is a great father. My father always wanted to do stand-up. He wanted to be an actor. But instead he did two jobs. He did customer service at a hospital and he worked as a waiter at night. He pretty much sacrificed everything for his daughters.
To go to the Oscars for Moneyball - that was pretty amazing. And to be able to go work with Kathryn Bigelow - that's going to be pretty sweet. Hopefully I don't have to go back to being a waiter. That's still my main goal.
If I ever get looks on the street, which, for the record, is almost never, it's rarely because they think I'm someone they saw in a movie. More often someone sees me and thinks, 'Hey, was that guy my waiter the other night?'
There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again.
I have been working since I was 20, and I'm 38. I actually once averaged out what I had made over my professional life. I think I could have made that much as a waiter or an insurance salesman. You know, I spent so many years in my 20's making $10,000 a year.
I was working in restaurants as a captain and as a waiter.
If you're a waiter and you're waiting on me, you might get five percent, you might get seventy percent. It depends on how bad my math skills are that day.
My father was a waiter basically, and when I got my first professional job as an actor, I left a job that he found me for half the amount of money. So anyone would think that they're stupid, that that would be a stupid move.
I like L.A. It's like a mini break. For a writer, it's hilarious. Like the food. Where I come from, we eat chip sandwiches: white bread, butter, tomato catsup and big fat french fries. It's delicious. Here, you order a creme caramel and the waiter says, 'You know, that contains dairy.'
Well, isn't Bohemia a place where everyone is as good as everyone else - and must not a waiter be a little less than a waiter to be a good Bohemian?
A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.
Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye.
George S. Kaufman
Of course we've been fighting against stereotypes from Day One at East West. That's the reason we formed: to combat that, and to show we are capable of more than just fulfilling the stereotypes - waiter, laundryman, gardener, martial artist, villain.
I was a lousy waiter, dealing with people and having people in your face like that.
The best number for a dinner party is two; myself and a dam' good head waiter.
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