Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.
Robert Frost

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you would lift me up you must be on higher ground.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
Aristotle

The 1980s will seem like a walk in the park when compared to new global challenges, where annual productivity increases of 6% may not be enough. A combination of software, brains, and running harder will be needed to bring that percentage up to 8% or 9%.
Jack Welch

I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.
Erma Bombeck

I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Erma Bombeck

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Erma Bombeck

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Erma Bombeck

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
Erma Bombeck

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
Erma Bombeck

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.
Erma Bombeck

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.
Henry David Thoreau

It is never too late to give up our prejudices.
Henry David Thoreau

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
Mitch Hedberg

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
Mitch Hedberg

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
Mitch Hedberg

Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
Mitch Hedberg

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Mitch Hedberg