Before I was shot, I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there - I always suspected that I was watching TV instead of living life. Right when I was being shot and ever since, I knew that I was watching television.
Andy Warhol

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
Mitch Hedberg

The TV business is uglier than most things. It is normally perceived as some kind of cruel and shallow money trench through the heart of the journalism industry, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs, for no good reason.
Hunter S. Thompson

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Frank Lloyd Wright

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Woody Allen

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
Woody Allen

I will never do another TV series. It couldn't top I Love Lucy, and I'd be foolish to try. In this business, you have to know when to get off.
Lucille Ball

My father wouldn't get us a TV, he wouldn't allow a TV in the house.
Janis Joplin

I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed.
Bill Maher

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
Joey Adams

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.
Dave Barry

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
Lily Tomlin

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney.
David Letterman

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld

Too much TV hurts movies.
Elvis Presley

I like to talk on TV about those things that aren't worth writing about.
Truman Capote

Good music comes out of people playing together, knowing what they want to do and going for it. You have to sweat over it and bug it to death. You can't do it by pushing buttons and watching a TV screen.
Keith Richards

I've always been suspicious of TV, I've always found music and video to be an unhappy marriage.
Keith Richards

You know, when you don't go on TV and talk about how many women you sleep with, some people in Hollywood, that are supposedly 'in the know,' start whispering that you're gay. If I were gay, I wouldn't be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not.
Adam Sandler

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.
Robert Orben