Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
Rodney Dangerfield

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Rodney Dangerfield

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
Rodney Dangerfield

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
Rodney Dangerfield

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
Rodney Dangerfield

And all who told it added something new, and all who heard it, made enlargements too.
Alexander Pope

(On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car.
Tallulah Bankhead

Truth is something which can't be told in a few words. Those who simplify the universe only reduce the expansion of its meaning.
Anais Nin

The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.
Adolf Hitler

My relationship to power and authority is that I'm all for it. People need somebody to watch over them. Ninety-five percent of the people in the world need to be told what to do and how to behave.
Arnold Schwarzenegger

I told Warren if he mentions Prop. 13 one more time, he has to do 500 push-ups.
Arnold Schwarzenegger

We lost because we told ourselves we lost.
Leo Tolstoy

I like not only to be loved, but also to be told I am loved.
George Eliot

I love it when people say things to me in public and want to meet me, because I want to meet them! Early on, my manager told me, 'If you want to sell 500,000 records, then go out there and meet 500,000 people.'
Taylor Swift

A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.
William Blake

I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow.
William Blake

Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul.
Walt Whitman

You know, my dad served in the President's Cabinet after his time as a governor. He told me he enjoyed being governor a lot more. Now, I understand why. If I do my job well, I can make a difference in people's lives and I can help our children realize their dreams.
Mitt Romney