A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
Kin Hubbard

Always expect the unexpected. Right around Thanksgiving, when the new Alex Cross will be out. It's called Four Blind Mice and it's a pretty amazing story about several murders inside the military.
James Patterson

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
Irv Kupcinet

Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.
Konrad von Gesner

Christians were instructed to serve others, and the thanksgiving was for the grace of God and the fact that God offered a way for man to return to a positive relationship with Him.
John Clayton

Christmas is the antithesis of Thanksgiving. Christmas is pretty much a man-made holiday.
John Clayton

Dear Lord; we beg but one boon more: Peace in the hearts of all men living, peace in the whole world this Thanksgiving.
Joseph Auslander

Even though we're a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Richard Roeper

From too much love of living, From hope and fear set free, We thank with brief thanksgiving Whatever gods may be That no life lives for ever; That dead men rise up never; That even the weariest river Winds somewhere safe to sea.
Algernon Charles Swinburne

Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.
Henry Van Dyke

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Jon Stewart

I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.
Todd Barry

I never drank except a couple sips of wine at Thanksgiving.
Carol Alt

I've spent a lot of Thanksgivings on the road with my band, so anytime that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family in a traditional aspect, eating sweet potatoes and cranberries and stuffing and all the trappings of Thanksgiving and then get on a treadmill the next day extra long, I'm happy.
Richie Sambora

If you think Independence Day is America's defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title, hands-down.
Tony Snow

It is now common knowledge that the average American gains 7 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.
Marilu Henner

It's like being at the kids' table at Thanksgiving - you can put your elbows on it, you don't have to talk politics... no matter how old I get, there's always a part of me that's sitting there.
John Hughes

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
David Letterman

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller

My favorite meal is turkey and mashed potatoes. I love Thanksgiving, it's just my favorite. I can have Thanksgiving all year round.
Cindy Margolis