My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
Billy Connolly

There be those who say that things and places have souls, and there be those who say they have not; I dare not say, myself, but I will tell of The Street.
H. P. Lovecraft

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
Billy Connolly

Let me tell you I am better acquainted with you for a long absence, as men are with themselves for a long affliction: absence does but hold off a friend, to make one see him the truer.
Ovid

Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Don't let other people tell you what you want.
Pat Riley

I can't tell you how scary it can be walking onto a movie and suddenly joining this family, it's like going to somebody else's Christmas dinner, everyone knows everyone, and you're there and you're not quite sure what you're supposed to be doing.
John Cleese

Don't let anyone tell you what you ought to like... Some wines that some experts think are absolutely exquisite don't appeal to me at all.
John Cleese

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.
John Cleese

These few dollars you lose here today are going to buy you stories to tell your children and great-grandchildren. This could be one of the big moments in your life; don't make it your last!
John Dillinger

Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He wasn't afraid of silence. He would take as long as it took to tell the story.
Bob Newhart

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.
Dave Attell

We're not a political band. We don't want to tell people what to do or what to think. We just want to tell them to think.
Billie Joe Armstrong

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.
Kathy Griffin

Tell me, do you think I'm going mad? I sometimes wonder, you know.
Paul Cezanne

Tell me thy company, and I'll tell thee what thou art.
Miguel De Cervantes

The theatre was created to tell people the truth about life and the social situation.
Stella Adler

A junkie is someone who uses their body to tell society that something is wrong.
Stella Adler

As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
Bill Hicks

Above all, I would teach him to tell the truth Truth-telling, I have found, is the key to responsible citizenship. The thousands of criminals I have seen in 40 years of law enforcement have had one thing in common: Every single one was a liar.
J. Edgar Hoover