My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.
Ronald Reagan

How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin.
Ronald Reagan

You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
Ronald Reagan

The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
Mark Twain

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain

When in doubt tell the truth.
Mark Twain

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
Mark Twain

Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.
C. S. Lewis

People respond when you tell them there is a great future in front of you, you can leave your past behind.
Joel Osteen

Most people already know what they're doing wrong. When I get them to church I want to tell them that you can change.
Joel Osteen

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
Yogi Berra

There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em.
Yogi Berra

Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.
Benjamin Franklin

You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!
John Lennon

My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all.
John Lennon

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.
Muhammad Ali

One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth.
Friedrich Nietzsche

When you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it.
Theodore Roosevelt

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx