When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream.
John Lennon

If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche that must have been left behind in the Sixties, that's his problem. Love and peace are eternal.
John Lennon

What do you regard as most humane? To spare someone shame.
Friedrich Nietzsche

It is impossible to suffer without making someone pay for it; every complaint already contains revenge.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Anyone who has declared someone else to be an idiot, a bad apple, is annoyed when it turns out in the end that he isn't.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Rejoicing in our joy, not suffering over our suffering, makes someone a friend.
Friedrich Nietzsche

You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
John Wooden

A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment.
John Wooden

It only stands to reason that where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master.
Ayn Rand

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven Wright

The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
Helen Keller

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx

Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details.
Andy Warhol

The most exciting thing is not doing it. If you fall in love with someone and never do it, it's much more exciting.
Andy Warhol

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
Erma Bombeck

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.
Erma Bombeck

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
Mitch Hedberg

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
Mitch Hedberg

Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
Mitch Hedberg

Frankly, I don't mind not being President. I just mind that someone else is.
Edward Kennedy