My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.
Henny Youngman

Without pay, no human being will work up to their ability if he or she is not cared for and respected.
William Glasser

Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human.
Albert Ellis

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
Rita Rudner

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner

She believed in nothing; only her skepticism kept her from being an atheist.
Jean-Paul Sartre

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
Joey Adams

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.
David Ogilvy

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
Joan Rivers

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."
Joan Rivers

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Joan Rivers

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
George Bernard Shaw

She had lost the art of conversation but not, unfortunately, the power of speech.
George Bernard Shaw

Asia is not going to be civilized after the methods of the West. There is too much Asia and she is too old.
Rudyard Kipling

Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me.
Orson Welles

We must have a theme, a goal, a purpose in our lives. If you don't know where you're aiming, you don't have a goal. My goal is to live my life in such a way that when I die, someone can say, she cared.
Mary Kay Ash

She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it).
Lewis Carroll

She said the object and color in the materials around us actually have a physical effect on us, on how we feel.
Florence Nightingale